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160. The Mud Men Of The Fjords

Posted on: March 10th, 2013 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

Welcome Terence Mckenna cartoonto my world ladies and Gentlemen, I hope life finds you well and is serving to be worthwhile unlike the cretin Sage. Sage I fear once again is having delusions of grandeur. The man sees himself as some sort of anthropologist or paleontologist a seeker of truth in the fossilised remains of the past a studier of the human tribe a Bruce Parryite. The man Sage is a buffoon I think he sees himself as some sort of psychedelic authority like he was Timothy Leary or Terrence Mckenna an explainer of the supernatural and some might say the unexplainable. He sees himself as an expert on prehistoric life and how we as a human family got from there to here. Does not Sage understand that only through personal experience can you actually have an understanding of anything, you must feel it to see it, then understand it. Sage has never dug a hole in his life I would be very surprised if he has ever had mud under his nails the man is a pansy who reads too many books he is a fantasist with out the cock to follow anything through he is a blagger full of piss and wind.

You see Sage has become obsessed with the so called “Mud Men Of The Fjords”… yes that’s the best he could come up with, he wants to explain the reason for them being found as to where and why. The man thinks he is Steven Fry hosting QI… the only difference is that Sage is on his own with his retardation he doesn’t have a team of researchers and Googleheads giving him answers in his hear phones making him seem intelligent. He believes it is all tied in with the magic of the druids a bit like Stonehenge and the visions of the ancient shamans. Sage thinks he is a musical note in Tomorrow Never Knows floating down stream like a pube on the ball sac of Sir Richard Bacon as he sneaks into Mecca. The man in bowtie and shorts thinks he’s a visionary.

The point about all this is that I wish to nail this down and echo words spoken by others. The cradle of civilisation is Africa I’m sure, I would get no arguments on that statement our mother is Africa. I say we are all heading towards a short cut to oblivion and I fear that our mud men of the Fjords prove this to be so….. So I ask…

Was it some perverted spaceman?
Who did sow the seed of our discontent?
Some Uncle Jesse from the stars
giving Mrs Ape a little taste of Mars.
Maybe the source of our inherent tension,
is just the result of some aerial intervention,
perhaps we are result of some bestial union,
made vent by some cowboy from the stars.
So we are the result of a self-centered act,
of a spaceman who couldn’t keep it in his pants,
and so all you folks that are homophobic,
just you remember, if our spaceman was a gay,
we could have evolved in a natural way,
we could still be eating the big banana,
living in the canopy,
or maybe we would have become shit heads anyway,
I blame god myself, i’m sure he could have intervened…

Sage thinks he has answers. All I would like to say is that there are no absolutes, people like absolutes – it makes them feel better just like wishful thinking does but if there is one absolute truth its that there are no absolutes everything is still open to speculation and subjectivity is a bitch.

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