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22. Maggie, Maggie, Maggie!

Posted on: March 23rd, 2008 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe 1 Comment

steve davisI talk to the British public and people all the time… Everyday people wether in jest or not. Yes People are extreme in their views. Most in the main have extreme views, which is why I like to push buttons, play with their strongly held beliefs…
For I don’t like believers for believers believe and I don’t believe them. A belief is only something one learns and as we as individuals grow and evolve our beliefs should mature and grow with us like a blue vein cheese, in essence we should be left without beliefs and be left with liberty and freedom… And so you get clever and say ‘oh well that’s just another belief’. I say ‘no’, it’s a hope that we one day will grow up and stop being such adultists…

Anyway, moving on. Worryingly Sage wanted to talk about my third eye… this I found to be very distasteful and I felt was bordering on sexual harassment. Then sage acted shocked when I told him of the fiery furnace. Throwing babies into the flames. I mean it worked for the Spartans, purity of race etc. I just think Sage was jealous of those so called Barbaric timesbecause I saw a picture of his son Max and I must say Max is a grotesque, a freak of sorts who makes John Merrick look like a Littlewoods catalogue cardigan model. But the truth is, for I feel that if we didn’t live in such so called ‘liberal times’ Sage would rid himself of the embarrassment that is Max. And what shocked me most was when off screen Sage admitted this and said that Max wasn’t easy on eye and much like Michael Jackson’s children he is going to make the poor little chap wear a Hijab in Sainsbury’s…
cherie blair big mouthAlso I must add, Fay Featherlite upset me today. He mocked my STD. He said that if I had five minutes he could give me another one (STD that is), which is an absolute bloody disgrace and shows what sort of a man he is. He then asked me to let him dress up in baby clothes where upon the assumption would be that I would smack his bottom and change his soiled nappy. When I told him where to stick it, he said (as always) ‘speak for yourself dear’. I must also say that I feel that Davis Cameron is a charlatan and deviant and should admit to his short comings as a man and once and for all admit to his secondary life in the back streets in and around Eton College. The truth is he sold marijuana behind the bike sheds and his covert name at the time was Sidney the Fleece.
Now another point to be made Sage is a rank conservative and said he will vote for the man that is Cameron. Meaning, he condones the actions of Sid the Fleece. So you see my friend Sage is not the whiter than white talk show host that you all know and pretend to love… And while we are on Conservatism, I also spoke about Maggie Thatcher’s heart… As you should know by now,Maggie is at this moment living with my testicle in place of her shriveled and now defunct heart. My little throbber is pumping the very lifes blood of the ex-Prime Minster through her veins and keeping her alive. Something I’m very proud of but not the sort of thing you shout about at parties. I must also say, I have a verbal contract with young Carroll Thatcher that on the demise of her mother I want my testicle back for there is a good chance that it is now in good working order again after its rehydration in the chest of Maggie. Otis Van Strapon has said that my potency would be rekindled now that my testicle has began to pulsate with life again, not that I want any more children after all the trouble Matthew has been…

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One Response

  1. Fuzu says:

    Ooh dang i just wrote a long comment and when i submitted it it came up blank! Please tell me it worked right? I dont want to sumit it again if i dont have to! Either the blog glitced out or i am just stuipd, the latter doesnt surprise me lol.

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