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57. The Order of the Chins

Posted on: September 27th, 2008 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

cilla-black-cartoonI must tell you about the Order of the Chins and commend the Mayor of London Town; Mr. Kenneth Livingstone – a man of the people in no uncertain terms. His people skills are the stuff of legend – to create the tin bath culture. Yes the ‘Dale Winton Welding Works’ cannot mend enough of the old tin baths from the thirties and forties and to give back to society in such a way.  Well, all I can say is well done Ken, jolly good show… jolly good chap, jolly good shot, jolly good goal… golly – good try to give back the incapacitated immigrant his self esteem by way of a good old wash down in a tin bath.  I mean the overall public interest in the wonderful abrasive scrubbing will win you the imminent election and the immigrant vote for sure. As he is aware,  the Muslims love a good scrub and are very hygiene conscious. And it would seem that Scope are designing a logo for the wonderful tin bath adventure and are in speaks with Winton the master welder and also Sergio Crease… who loves to be shouted at while bathing.

It would also seem that Cilla Black (a good friend of Winton) is so excited (like the Pointer Sisters) about the venture that she has agreed to be scrubbed and rubbed by Ken on the Graham Norton Show. Cilla has quite a few minor impediments, a sagging breast and leaking anus. No, sorry, it’s actually a leaking breast and a sagging anus. Oh dear, poor brave Cilla I say. But her minor impediments are not as obvious as some of our impeded immigrants and to make them feel better she is going to wear a false nose and a beard for the occasion. She has also said that she will wear a strap-on to promote Norton’s whimsical asides and great fun will be had by all. Oh, the kindness of others! I know that Jenny two fingers will attend and will be making a speech about why Boris Johnson should not be Mayor for he has promised to sack all the freaks from office.

I must touch upon the wonderful Nessie Furnish – the illegitimate son of David Furnish and Princess Di (the sadly no longer with us and much maligned royal personage). It would appear that Nessie Furnish the chin himself and leader of the Corrupt Chin Society has fallen in love with the dribbling girl herself – Clare Sweeney and it is possible that a mixed marriage will ensue. A dangerous coupling… but brave!

I have warned the pairing that their possible offspring could be impeded also. The chances of having a dribbling chin is a strong possibility… but they are determined. The bravery of others… an inspiration to us all I say… like those first mixed race couplings in the fifties… evolution: evolution is the solution.

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