weekly comedy podcasts - subscribe

151. A Right Fry Up – We’re All Out Of Our Brains Or At Least My Friends Are!

Posted on: June 24th, 2012 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

It’s princess diana cartoonsummer ladies and gentleman and haven’t we been served up a treat. Or have we? Are we talking mainstream treats and trinkets here. Now on the whole the masses are clueless and not correct! Life has become an average party the music is shit and the presenters are obvious, the underground… it’s being pushed back and the spark of creativity shat on by pasty white men in suits, business men always looking at the bottom line. The bottom line that destroys everything. I’m told advertising is a creative industry full of new ideas and passion, bullshit that is not the case. These people are the cancer of our world the usurpers of anything pure, real, and relevant. They steal from art, music, poetry, they steal from the working class or poor, those who they feel cant fight back. They bastardize everything, water it down to sell… sell it to the masses and then they act with a sense of authority without giving any credit to the pioneers of the thought.

These pretentious cretinous stuck up fuck heads, I hear there speak, I hear their average, mundane, obvious, bland conversations. I shudder at the thought that they may wish to talk to me. To bury me with their utter illusion, these people really think they are cutting edge but they couldn’t even cut a hedge. Truth be told they can’t cut a jib they have no style or class, but they have false charm and they can cut and paste and they will cut and run when they have had their mediocre fun, for they are cut and dry! Yes they will milk the proverbial teat until the cow is dead, a carcass spilling with maggots. They have no love for you or me unless the bottom line is the issue. With property speculation and bottom line discussions they talk about a box and how to think outside it .

A box ladies and gentleman, what is this box? Where do they find it? What is in it?

They seem to obsess about what is out of this box. I never had a box and I would burn the box if I had one especially with the gas prices these days. A box- such a strange thing to be concerned with . Light a fire and move on you stupid bastards! The only box I am interested in is Will Young’s, I suppose you could say that I am thinking outside the box now, but please don’t say it, for I plan to be inside his box by tea time . The fact is you can trust the Australians to think outside the proverbial box, I learned that from big Tom an Australian rules football star, and his box was a colorful collage, a concave of extraordinary possibility’s, is that outside the box enough for you?

I don’t know what the point is here other than perhaps there is not a point to be had! I just remember my halcyon days experimenting with different realities breaking down the systems, understanding the nature of illusion, the nature of control the true essence of freedom and of left wing and right wing fascism and fetishism, a place in thought and spirit where ancient wiser cultures talk from the other side and show us our true selves!

In this system you need a pound note even if you drop out, that’s the trap that’s the bottom line they suck you in, which is why you must be strong, open, and willing, don’t let their weak arsed mind games work on you. They are pathetic, weak people, cowards, not beautiful, not like a force of nature like i say they do the average the obvious the meaningless and the artless. Your grander than that, your bigger than that, your are a powerhouse, well I am anyway! I create my own roadshow and radio show. I am the circus ringmaster of my own existence. I take what I need from the pioneers and protectors of the thought and break on through to the other side. This normally brings you back round to the start but you’ve traveled back round to it which means your more capable to deal with it. You see it for what it is and as you reject it fully and wholeheartedly the light of freedom dawns! The ideas that are shunned by the dominant culture such as sharing, caring, compassion and the odd sexual encounter with a decadent sailor boy are what become important!

I tried to explain this to Sage but all he could say was “who will protect us from the terrorists?” And there my good people is the example that shows how lost we are… We are not without hope there are many examples over the years of people who pushed back and said, “no more of your manufactured fear nonsense and wickedness, no more suspicion of people.”

I remember trying to explain this to Ronnie Kray but he said that “There is a lot of money in protection rackets and I aim to cash that cow!” Sage pretends sainthood but believe him not for he is part of the problem, I mean what sort of man tries to sell knickers on ebay under the pretense that they were Princess Diana’s last pair-given to her by here Arab boyfriend, Sage shame on you!

I don’t need to say anything really other than to say, I remember when I was in Hollywood. I’d just been peed on by Bukowski, I was in a bar at his behest as he wanted to buy me a drink to apologise for the pissing exercise! Anyway I was sitting with Hank who was a little worse for wear, when without grace nor favour he took out his penis and plopped it on the bar, and all he said was that “the problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”

So I finished my beer, agreed with a nod! Patted him on the back and said “Hank, that’s quite a cock you have there!”
He looked at me and smiled, I smiled back and he ordered another drink! As I left I could hear the barman telling him to “put that thing away!” as it was frightening all the ladies! I’m not sure how or why that particular episode transpired, but I knew that Hank had things locked down and I was not needed there, so onwards and upwards onwards and upwards !

Colonel's signature

Be Sociable, Share!


|


Leave a Reply