I need to apologise on Sage’s behalf for attacking Delia Smith - the wonderful cook. I mean he does not know a thing about human motivations. He takes most things on the surface at face value as it were. He said that Delia was under a lot of pressure from happenings at her Football Club - Norwich. No one likes her spring rolls or she doesn’t know how to serve a veggie or a meat menu or mix it up. And, as we all know, the poor women went on her famous ‘let’s be having you’ rant. And then there was the magic egg mushroom incident… Sage had called her an ‘old soak’. But I (being the sensitive soul that I am) can understand her need to experiment with these natural substances. So I gave her a shot of ether… That sorted her for a little while and it would appear the said rants are becoming less and less and I do forgive her for my delusionary accident, although I did enjoy it. I ended up on Hampstead Heath and was naked! A wonderful afternoon I had. I don’t really want to go into details as such…

Finally, another point to be expressed in no uncertain terms is the inference that I was telling lies with regard Sage. Pointing the finger at a Knight of the Realm, the Coronation Street Actor Sir Ian McClellan. To say that he is a ‘badger baiter’ is a foul slur… It’s Norbert Williams that is the perpetrator of such cruel actions. The man is no angel if you pardon the pun! And if you believe that cretin Roy Chubby Brown you will believe anything.

Tags: Delia Smith, Ian McKellan, Roy Chubby Brown