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The Colonel’s Election Special

Posted on: May 2nd, 2010 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe 2 Comments

Hellocheryl-cole-cartoon ladies and gentlemen, before I begin I would just like to say a new series of The Colonels Radioshow will begin next weekend if all goes to plan and I am not murdered in the street like the Dutch film maker Van Gough for upsetting the natives, but before hand here is my 2010 Election special where I will talk openly and candidly about my policies and my end game and the threat to the nation the other three parties are with the wet fanny that is Sage Macokadale.
For instance the fact that the vile machiavellian facilitator of retardedness Rupert Murdoch is said to have done a deal with the “Push bike riding” Davis (aka,Sydney The Fleece) Cameron,the deal being that he Murdoch the vile antipodean anti British cad and manipulator of the braying masses will use his paper to sell the idea that a vote for the blues is the best way forward for the county and in return Cameron when Prime Minister will shut down the BBC so Murdoch can have even more influence media wise on our wonderful island. Another great British insitution brought to its knees by blue rosette wearing toss pots… Although on the up side no more TV licence fee and on the down side advertisments on every channel.Oh and of course the mere fact that one man would control the media…

Thank you all for your support and kind wishes yes I have my senatorial hat on today as I did when Sage questioned me in the studio on the subject of Britain its present and its future.

Now, Sage accused me of being long winded in my interview which embarrassed me somewhat and has made me question myself in this regard. Truth is I dont really care about what Macorkadale has to say, for I am a people person and I like to get stuck in.

Typically and as per usual Sage has got lost in the details of what I have had to say,  failing once again to really see the point I was trying to make.

Or should I say he, Sage that is, has failed to see what in fact it is I am trying to achieve – that being a united front of the British Empire, the land of hope and glory… Like I have said before there is no black or white, athiest, agnostic, Muslim or Jew – there is just rich and poor, hungry or satisfied. Point is – I want to kick start a real revolution I couldn’t care about the economy for it does not care about me and the wheels have been set in motion regardless of what I have to say – after all – as the Native American Big Bull Charlie used to say “Bullshit baffles minds, and the river must run its course.” Yes and I agree wholeheartedly.

I want to unite the poor and hungry by thowing them together in what the great working class emancipator Michael Caine described to me as “Compassion camps” when I met with him only a few days ago and I know Ray Winston is a fan of getting the filth off the streets the great working class hero that he is.

I felt that I should run with the concept of “Compassion,” for I need to whip up a storm to bring down this current system of  “he said this, she said that” meaningless politics. I want to see people rioting in the streets as a society of people united in a common cause and against a common enemy.

I generally want to put the power back in the hands of the people, I want to see the asians, the blacks, the whites and whoever else unite with a harmonious vision to keep their council flats and benefit monies, to keep their olde peoples under the matress money safe. Even if it is a hatred of me that unites them because I got their backs up and woke the beast so be it. I want them to become the sleeping giant that they are and show the British Empire in all its glory to channel the power of Churchill, Ghandhi, Derek Pringle and Viv Richards. I want them to moon in unison at the ruiling class like there lives depended on it.

I say that these people have more in common in their poverty and struggle than they do in the areas that enable the powers that be to divide and conquer them. The more I provoke and try to tell it as it is in terms of what the so called three main parties wish to hide on the surface. What I’m trying to say is that on this subject nothing I say can be seen as outrageous or cruel. This is the modern world, so stiff upper lip, stop weeping like a victim, stand up and fight, defend what is yours … You dont believe me? Well this is a genuine BNP policy “If we (BNP) get into office we will move all muslim immigrants who currently live in council houses into tower blocks,that will show the bastards!”

Or take Anna Pascoe, the Lib Dem candidate for West Devon who called Mebyon Kernow candidate Stuart Cullimore a “greasy-haired twat who should be shot and put out of his misery”. Now she could well be correct and I support her right to say it and to be fair I have seen a picture of this  Stuart Cullimore and he really does need to wash his hair, he is a scruffy bastard and needs to fix up and visit a nice East End Jewish tailor. Yes Anna is correct in her assesment of Stuart but to shoot him in the leg and then to nail his hand to the floor in Frankie Fraser style on the strength of it may seem a little harsh when all is said and done, but we dont know the full story.

Then take our boorish leader dear Gordon Brown who was caught short last week calling a lady who he believed was a threat to him a “Bigoted women” but what you did not hear dear reader was that he later phoned MI5 and ordered them to take her off the street and deal with her accordingly, “fuckin bitch, making me look stupid,does she not know I run this bloomin country.” And it has been said that he also emailed orders to MI5 demanding that they bomb Rochdale and blame it on the Muslims, tough measures whichever way you look at it, and after all this – it would be good to remember that when Boris Johnson insulted the Liverpudlians a  while ago – Brown was  heard to call Boris Johnson a “floppy haired cunt” while eating a meal in the Soho area of London, I say who is the hypocrite now? Ladies and gentlemen you must remember nothing escapes me for I have men on the inside working for me. And that’s not to mention Davis Cameron who thought that it would be funny to take a dump on Nick Clegg’s new Morris Minor car while good olde Boris Johnson held him down and in Cleggs words “he jerked me off.” Like I say – you can take the boys out of the Bullingdon but not the bully out of the boy.

Nick Clegg will never be the same, he is not sure if he enjoyed the assult or not, truth is he doesnt know if he is coming or going anymore whether to take a left turn or a right one ladies and gentlemen our Nick Clegg is all a ditherer, no change there then. So don’t tell me I’m insane because I want the Jewish – Hatton Garden – money, I do want it and I will use it to help the dregs of our society, that is my policy.

The whole thing is a farce where politicians big and small spend most of the time trying not to say what they really think because they think that it would cost them votes. Me personally, I will not vote. I have no interest in the current system and I say this not as a protest but because the political world has become mediocre and bland like a lot of things in the modern world. You dont believe me? Ok fine then look at the top ten films being watched in the cinema today, look at the top ten albums being purchased on line… Just have a flick through the television guide – yes -  it’s like pouring yogart on your head, a horrible sticky mess.

I suppose what I find truly depessing is the fact that things could be worse even when life is good something crappy is on the horizon like a flipping general election or cancer. Like I said ladies and gentleman – I don’t care anymore – not in an aggresive way. I dont care in a loving way because if  I take all this madness on board I will go insane and kill everyone it’s impossible to get a handle on it all.

So I now choose to deal with things as they present themselves and not go out and look for trouble, it will find you. As it certainly finds me. So to close, yes I have been repremanded by Sage and have had my fee taken but I shall live to fight another day.

I have been accused of being a fascist and that I was guilty of letting my liberal mask slip. Truth is the world confuses me, makes me feel senile nothing seems clear to me. I see the world through a nebulous cloud, I see good in bad, and bad in good, I am tired grey and old and I tend to think that it is what it is, and everything must run it course and to quote Bruce Springsteen:

“Everything dies baby that’s a fact, and maybe everything that dies some day comes back, so put your make up on do ya hair real pretty, and meet me tonight in Atlantic City!”

I could not agree more.

So, forward with Operation Steradent, false teeth and hand made Jewish Suits for everyone… and sod Sage who wants things to carry on as normal like people leaving car bombs in time square New York or Muslim nut cases who want to kill cartoonists…what the fuck is normal? If normal is those three so called leaders on the podium then we really are screwed… I want anarchy in the UK, so onwards and upwards people “may the road always rise, and your enemies be far behind”

“There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more,
From these our interviews, in which I steal
From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.”


Much love,because you know I love you…..

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2 Responses

  1. RONNIE KRAY says:

    A nice bit of violence never hurt no-one…You understand…!!!

  2. Thanks for finally talking about > The Colonel

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