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134. Food and Oil Issues

Posted on: July 3rd, 2011 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

shirley bassey cartoonI the Colonel am a serious man and don’t take the problems of the world lightly, I mean Sage saying that he wanted to take Scope children out for an old fashioned charabanc ride down to Margate and then to add that they would be serenaded by the wonderful Chas and Dave on the day, all this on the £100 for charitable purposes that he says he raised. The truth is Sage I gave you £100 myself, so I pose the question what did you do with the other monies Sage? You have let us all down dear boy and the Scopers are up in arms. You think I and they don’t know that you bought a black market ticket for the ex-Russian premiers 80th birthday bash in Moscow, yes anything to see his favourite singer and yours Shirley Bassey in action eh Sage, hoping to catch a nip slip were you?

You are a filthy man utterly vile stealing off Scopers on the off chance of Shirley Bassey`s nipples popping out during a vigorous dance number.. Sage I say you must have paid a pretty penny to sit next to Mr and Mrs Gorbachev, all this using monies you collected for the little scope children. I mean you could have sent them on a nice ski trip to Switzerland, admittedly they would have had a few problems on the slopes, but a trip to the land of the Toberone would have given their little lives meaning I feel. Now don’t get me wrong I do not decry the trip to Margate because I am sure that the little ones would have lots of fun but to get them involved with that deviant Ronald Macdonald under the promise of happy meals all round is a little sordid to say the least.

Point being is that I am absolutely like Vodka most positively like HIV sure that if the children were asked what they would have like the most, would it be a trip up the motorway to see a paedophile clown? Or some nice Swiss chocolate on the ski slopes? Well, I think it would be no contest, and with the monies you wasted on that meaningless celebration in Russia you have upset the wonderful Chas and Dave who were going to sing the Scopers favourite song “Down To Margate,” they were Chas and Dave that is well they were going to wave their £50 fee as well, shame on you Sage, what’s next? A day drip round Neverland with Jonathan King as host.

Anyhow regardless of your meagre efforts It would seem that Scope on principle have in essence said shove your £100 because Shirley Bassey has given her Mikhail Gorbachev concert fee to Scope so they can go to Switzerland for fun and frolics up the Alps, and just to add to spice things up as it were I know that the greatest MMA fighter of all time the Russian killing machine that is Fedor Emelianenko is livid with what you have done to the Scopers and I fear that it will take a gargantuan diplomatic effort to calm him down and to stop him smashing your face, Sage, into next week.

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