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3. Heseltine

Posted on: January 20th, 2008 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe 1 Comment

Now there was also a time when I made a costly mistake in the Kings Cross area of London Town. It was when I happened to misread a chalk board outside the Rocket Public house. A thorough beating ensued. Sage, I think, was fascinated by the event and made me go into the deeper aspects of the unfortunate happening. He thenBadger pretended to be shocked as he tried to hide his erective sado masochistic shame with a tea towel…

Now as you know by now, I also have a great deal of regard and respect for Michael Heseltine (the eminent Parliamentarian and occasional wrestler). I think Sage also agrees with Heseltine’s stand with regard his view towards our black brethren… which is why I feel they keep Winston in the backroom away from public view. As for Heseltine, we… I mean he… and I had many a run in on the red carpet as it were. He was responsible for plucking one of my testicles from its place of residence… a little unfairly may I say. But that’s Heseltine, always looking for an advantage… not a fair Man but always good fun in a rough house sort of way. But, yes, I must say he certainly found his advantage on that day and I have to blame the Queen Mother and indirectly Sharon Stone. For if it wasn’t for that infernal crossover I would still have a complete set, a pair as it were, rather than the bats wing I’ve been left with… but that is for another day I’m sure… but even so, I’ve got my eye on him (Heseltine that is). Heseltine and me

I must also mention my dear friend Badger, dear Badger, much maligned and misunderstood…a freak of Nature one might say… but brave and a man of stature in more ways than one. The fact of the matter is (as you are all aware of by now) Badger has an outlandish fanny effector-Yes!Perhaps the biggest penis the World has ever seen. That very fact was to save us in Burma… yes indeed it was also a godsend in the Apartheid year’s in South Africa and was instrumental in Basil Dolivera’s escape from that dreaded Regime. Truly a penis of quality and quantity in more ways than one. I mean, ask Sergeant Sydney Makepeace who, at first hand, came across the negative effect of badger’s unfettered beast. But of course, by now, you know most of this anyway…

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One Response

  1. bill Webster says:

    tut tut

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