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25. Himmler’s love of chickens

Posted on: April 16th, 2008 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe 2 Comments

Joss Stone CartoonI think the boys enjoyed my company. I even introduced them to Perry Groves who gave them an Iron Cross each. Featherlite thought Groves was mocking his sexuality and a fight ensued. It all ended amicably… but only after Perry smashed a chocolate egg and threatened to stick it and twist it into Fay’s face. Very nasty… But the fact is, Perry felt insulted especially after all he had given in the way of free gifts.

Now back to the Hell Fire Club. Yes, Terry Weight nearly ruined hundreds of years of decadent tradition… Yes… he tried to change the whole ethos of the party. He was like the Headmaster from the Bash Street Kids. He started laying down the law… Running around the place with coasters and a cloth for any bodily spillage. He was like Rigsby of Rising Damp fame. I mean, all you could hear was Weight’s bell ringing as he patrolled the corridors of so called ‘fun’. Yup… Weight tried to turn the party (the orgy of celebrity ego’s and retarded behavior) and getting Alid Jones to sing songs of praise was the last straw. But all I can say is Perry Groves dealt with him in the end. I would also like to add something to show Sage’s total lack of sensitivity. When I told Sage of Britney Spear’s breakdown he made an over-indulgent remark making reference to bald vaginas. Highly suspicious in its nature… the reference was something about locking up her man in the boat for all time with a William Young privately made chastity belt… This made me shudder…

And another thing… And I don’t think that it has been mentioned before but it may surprise you that Sage is a fan of Joss Stone and Jamie Callum… But I must say that hideous pairing send my soul into a dark evil spin they make me want to go on a killing spree! But Sage says he makes love listening to Stone and Callum on shuffle on his CD player. I can think of nothing worse, I would be unable to get aroused…

Today was dull. Apparently I fell asleep live on screen…Sage didn’t believe that I was at the Battle of The Bulge…he questioned my integrity and Himmler’s love of chickens…

Sage also made reference to my attitude to the fairy liquid salesman that is Ainsley Harriot. He said I was unfair with my ‘Step and Fetch-it’ reference and decided to give me some sort of history lesson about the Mississippi Delta…Me a history lesson?! I lived it! He read it in a Mark Twain book. He is an arrogant fool is Sage. He also ran down and mocked the Black and White Minstrels and said that he didn’t like Seinfeld! I mean who doesn’t like Seinfeld? I will tell you–Sage!

John Prescott Boxer CartoonAnyhow I also told of John Prescott’s debauched sexual actions long before it came to light in the gutter press. He is an animal is John. But ‘what a right hook!’ I thought as I watched him doing questionable fist action with grotesque Gordon Ramsey… Not a pleasant sight, but it fits… he was like Obelix from the Obelix and Asterix comics smashing Romans out of his way to get to the top of the Hellfire tree. I am sorry to say to all the Prescott fans, he does have a tiny stubby man part like a half smoked Cuban cigar. I must say I was happy to get my foot in the door of the Hellfire club… orgies and filthy celebrity culture just one big club of clichés and clicks. That’s the real ethos… Well, I mean… What with Beckman and Barrow comparing their own ‘Parts’ to Richard Gears… Amazing stuff and I have it all on film!Finally, Sage said Parkinson won’t talk to me anymore… He refuses point blank…

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2 Responses

  1. Daine Poer says:

    Good blog, I actually like the endeavor to provide social education, it looks like one stepforward and two steps in the past :-(

  2. Frank says:

    Nice episode and great reading material. However, Sage said he didn’t like Seinfeld, seriously? I guess that’s fine because everyone has their own likes/dislikes. Thanks for the blog, everything is great!

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