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108. Lady Gaga – Arthur or Martha?

Posted on: May 22nd, 2010 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe 5 Comments

I start lady gaga cartoon caricaturethis part of my memoir with a modest protest. Maybe not so modest when I tell thee and one ponders the slurs that Sage has rendered on my favorite artist at this time – the wonderful Lady Gaga – large proboscis and all. I mean to say that she is an hermaphrodite well yes to infer that she is a tormented soul without even having her on the show so as to make a correct assessment as to whether or not she is either one or the other in terms of her sex is a an outrage. I mean she might be over the top in her stage attire but to suggest that the multi talented one is a corrupter of youth and has a big dong strapped between her legs is an awful thing to say, and then to add insult to injury to say that she couldn’t clean Boy Georges boots. Well all I can say is it’s an outrage beyond the fringe.
I say that Miss Gaga is the real Karma Chameleon here and not the licentious Georgie Girl sweeping up the New York Streets and fisting in a cell in Pentonville, I ask you what sort of example is being set? I truly feel that Sage is frightened to be in the presence of these odd balls because he is afraid of what it might stir up in terms of his latent fruitiness.

Point is; I myself was mocked by the man Sage when I told him about a significant love in my life. A love that was not consummated in the main areas of love making, truth is I didn’t know if it was Arthur or Martha and Sage ribbed me relentlessly in this regard, all this ribbing when I conveyed my feelings for a Russian Hermaphrodite wrestler. No doubt he lampooned me without any thought for my feelings nor that of my sambo fighting Russian love.

Now, female wrestling cartoonthe mere fact that Olga my pet name for my Sambo wrestling beauty took performance-enhancing drugs was to affect our future in a big way or small way depending on how you look at it and view the facts that I put on the table at this time. Truth is all the sexual aspects of Olga’s physiology were altogether non-existent. What was apparent in terms of genitals was shrunken by steroid use amongst other performance enhancing drugs. I don’t know if Olga had a large clitoris or a small penis and our man Sage found this unbearably hilarious. He even took off his bow tie and ran around the room pretending it was a penis…. Like I say… Sage is a simpleton.

I feel it important to add that Olga and I wanted children… for I wanted a friend for Matthew Perhaps, had I been able to consummate the relationship and we were able to bare a child maybe my boy Matthew would not have gone off the rails the way he did – wanting to kill westerners with explosives. Yes it may well have quelled his need to blow up buildings and other edifices all in the name of Allah… as I say… these feelings of low self esteem by my Matthew… the need to belong, well perhaps they would not have come to the fore with the added responsibility of a little sibling to look after. Also, having a half Russian child could have helped in terms of undercover work in the Cold War – as I was working for MI6 at the time. Working on covert operations. I feel that I could have used the child to get myself into the Kremlin, as it was common knowledge that the Russian Premier Nikita Khrushchev had a child fetish. Yes it is known in certain circles that he loved to cuddle them incessantly with an un-flagging resolve like a drunken grandfather would cuddle an errant child, but I have to add – he was no Michael Jackson. He didn’t tuck them in at night, he didn’t have them parade in front of him in pajamas, no not at all. Nikita would send them home to Ma and Pa with a bottle of Vodka and a wafer biscuit. So all was well that ended well in that particular house of cards…

But this is by the by, my Olga was barren… so this was no more than a pipe dream.

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5 Responses

  1. RONNIE KRAY says:

    Fucking perverts…

  2. Bloody brilliant form lads!

  3. free makeup says:

    Gaga is silly in my view

  4. Gaga rules! (and Trey Songz too!)

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