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114. Give Mossad a call

Posted on: July 18th, 2010 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

We Sage the snipernow come to my penultimate memoir my good souls as summer is upon us and my spirits are lifting. Now do you remember that I have inferred on a number of occasions about Sages latent racism? Also I am concerned about his Nazi saluting when Alan Sugars back is turned. Point is I feel Sage is a Sunday morning racist because he refuses to go to the African church near his house and chooses to travel fifteen miles or so to the Blessed Sacred Heart Church in Wimbledon, where he feels he gets a better service and doesn’t have to take off his shoes and where he can sing traditional hymns and not have to sing what he describes as vile mad eyed Mobutu gospel chanting. I feel what I am trying to get at is that Sage is a racist bully and of this I have no doubt and these are my reasons: Why not go to the African church on the corner? Also, why on Mother Earth does he feel the need to beat up brown people? However, in saying that I have to add that it is not all brown chaps he picks on you understand, because when he interviewed the world heavy weight champion David Haye he was all smiles and head bowing like Uriah Heap. Having looked into the psychology of these debatable actions I have come to the conclusion that Sage is a no more than just a bully.

Now let me put it like this… the mere fact that he has a propensity for picking on small brown people is in fact no more than that. Sage you will always be a bully and a racist. I for one am fed up with it having to console the various embers of your torment in and around the studio, and in saying that I ask you, I implore you to give our backroom boys a break. The truth is this – you come in every morning under the guise of a big smile and with your hail fellow well met attitude you swipe Winston across the face with your favorite paper (the Sunday Sport). You say it’s all a game of jest but I know you well enough Sage and it has to stop. Then you got all hot under the collar when talking about the “Islamic state of Bradford” and that comment you made in jovial fashion about bombing the said area and taking them out in one go was beyond the pail! But even worse was when you suggested that we should give Mossad a call and have them send in a sniper and pick the fuckers off one by one like in the Lindsey Anderson film ‘If’. May I remind you Sage that these people are British citizens and have every right to live in peace and harmony and if they wish to blow themselves up in the name of God they are at liberty to do as they please.

It’s Bobby Davro cartoonno skin off my nose… perhaps only theirs and I raise a glass to them if not anything else but your threat of voting for Nick Griffin will do nothing but alienate you further from the constituencies and create an impasse that will only see a drop off in your radio show listeners. I mean; what would the great liberal thinker and emancipator Bobby Davro think of all this sly poking at our black brothers? It was only the other day you pinched Winston and left nail marks on his neck. I feel Bobby would be tormented if he knew of these gross actions of yours Sage, the great humanitarian that he is, the manifestor of light in the dark tunnels of existence that he has become over the years.

To finish up here I feel I must make mention of Shane Ritchie the Holocaust denier and the fact that he should be very careful because Mossad are on to him and will catch up with him, the high profile entertainer that he is. Mossad feel Shane Ritchie has become a liability as he plans to enter Tel Aviv in black face while wearing his famed red coat from Butlins. They feel his plan is to start spreading rumours about there having been no holocaust… which is highly inflammatory very much like his Butlins red number, Sue Pollard the Maplin Holiday Camp entertainer has said that she has heard the rumours regarding Shane’s misuse of the famed red coat, and has written to the BBC in protest.

They also feel that he is in league with George Galloway and the Islamic Forum for Europe, it is whispered in the corridors that Shane was responsible for bringing the Muslimist element into East Enders,so don’t blame me if the Queen Vic goes up in flames in the next live episode, you have been warned.

Yes Mossad feel that Shane Ritchie is on the Muslimist pay role and that they have plans to turn all of London into an Islamic State within the next ten years. Trouble is brewing ladies and gentlemen and I feel that Sage is involved in some way or other as I did hear him say that “the Jewish fraternities have a lot to answer for, what with their attitude towards Shane Ritchie.” Now he may have a point in this regard but the last thing anyone wants or indeed needs is Mossad on their tail end.

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