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54. Naked Nazi Chicken Feeding

Posted on: September 7th, 2008 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

Let me make a point about Sage and his total resentment towards Maureen who (in a Alan Sugar Cartoonnon-sexual way) bathes my sagging batwing. She is a God send and I love her like I loved my olde dog Nigger… who sadly I had shot in the barn when he could no longer function as a dog.

Sage, I think perhaps not in a conscious way but in subliminal fashion, would like his batwing caressed. Maybe again not in a sexual way, but perhaps his needy personality decrees that it would be the thing to do because he is the leader as it were… or he sees himself that way. It’s his show, his ball bag and his employee. So why not? Why not indeed… I am sure he only has to ask but I also feel that deep down it is Fay Featherlite who Sage wishes would caress his alleged ailing testicles.

Now It seems to me that I am getting the blame for Sage’s indiscretions and to say that I called members of the Jewish fraternity Corporate pig bellies… well, is not only diabolical but dangerous in its entirety And I shall be taking legal action immediately. This is on advice from my very good friend Alan Sugar; a corporate warrior and Jewish hell raiser to boot.  For I know for a fact that Sage denies the holocaust and is trying to get a platform to speak at Oxford University to spread his misguided beliefs to an unsuspecting audience and if they don’t believe him he has plans to round them all up and gas them or at least give them a communal shower. Then he will deny that it ever happened and call anyone who claims it to have happened a conspiracy theorist … He also said (in a lighter moment that if truth be told) that the Jews would never fall for the olde shower routine again. Which I found to be outrageous!

Moving on. Here is something you might want to store up in the memory banks my friends. Do you remember when I told you that I was trapped in General Charles De Gaulles bathroom? Well it didn’t hit me at the time but it does now… like a Joe Frazier left hook… or a Tony Soprano stare. I swear that on De Gaulle’s bathroom wall was a picture of Sage’s Father – the now Director General of the BBC. That in itself is no surprise for it is well documented that Sage’s Father spent many a long year in the French Foreign Legion. What was he running away from you may well ask? I can tell you… that is of course if you would like to know… ‘please tell us!’ I hear you say…

Himmler CartoonWell, he was standing full frontal nude again. Not a bad thing you might say, certainly not a bad thing I say as well… but to be by the side of Heinrich Himmler feeding Himmler’s beloved chickens is a bridge too far in my book… it belies the unanswered question who took the photograph? I wish I had seen the date of that particular polaroid. Naked chicken farming indeed!… and we think we have problems.

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