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102. Poetry Corner

Posted on: January 24th, 2010 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

Sage Cockless gableswas up to his old tricks again mocking the wonderful Gables Hornsby, a singer of great depth with emotion coming through him like a train without breaks heading for a deathly destination.. Oh Gables, oh Gables your colour cripples me and takes me to places that I have chosen to forget… but go there I dare, and with your fluid passageways of lyrical consequence I am taken to the best that mankind can offer and the worst. And the worst in this case is Sage who cannot equate his life to anything other than a self centred grope into the dark, and to desecrate Gables’s good works with an expletive of such a nature…well! All I can say is again shame on you Sage, I will say it… Sage called the wonderful Gables Hornsby a cunt! For what we shall never know. I just feel Sage felt threatened by Gables and was shocked by Gables Hornsby’s lack of ego and selfless response to humankind. With all that the man Gables had been through in the past few years with his climbing of Everest and the loss of his man part due to frost bite… and also the loss of his foot due to gangrene and the loss of his ear due to another precarious circumstance and the selfless loss of his left buttock which he used to feed a starving film crew. Christ-like in its essence… also a fine hot pot by all accounts. Three cheers for Hornsby I say… I ask you Sage what next? So cruel, so cold you are… I do hope that Sage will outgrow this critical faculty that he has recently developed and that it subsides and we get back to the old Sage… a good and kind man, I mean this vile behaviour does not end.

To andrew neil wigmock Andrew Neil the great broadcaster by saying that his syrup of figs-his wig was lop sided on his last broadcast of What The Papers Say. Neil is a sensitive soul and takes pride in his appearance, the fact is the man has become a recluse and even Rupert Murdoch can’t get him out of his hotel room. I have to say Andrew has taken to binge eating and taking cold showers to try to enhance the follicle issues, truth is he is now obsessed and has called in the master of wiggery Graham Gooch. And to be fair; Goochie came along without question to help him in his quest for a new rugged look… Let’s get down to brass tacs here and say I do hope Andrew Neil can find a suitable syrup and come out of his self imposed Howard Hughesesque exile… You see Sage I must say this… one word in the wrong place can start wars and ruin lives… I mean, look at Jenkins ear… I must say this in Sage’s favour however… the real point about it is that I will always give credit where it’s due and his endorsement of Derek Pringles poem – ‘A Visit With Mother’ was by Sage’s standards brave. A deep meaningful Poem about child tampering.. .A horrific aspect of human nature and something I feel Sage is coming to terms with in his own way. As I feel he was at some point touched by his Uncle Terry Mackorkadale on a hiking trip while wearing shorts.

Look. The point about it is… and I say this with a deep sense of foreboding for you all know that I am a most sensitive chap and do not tell tales out of school, but I do feel the need… For you my public to understand that Sage’s character impediments can be put down to one thing- his shorts… Yes the fetisher that he is can be put down to his fathers distorted needs and mind set …The fact of the matter can be attributed to the fact that his father made Sage wear shorts all the time – especially when on hiking trips with the lurid Uncle Terry…Yes even when the other boys graduated to long trousers he had to wear shots. I mean – what manner of man does this to a child, and what damage has it done to Sage? Yes another question that I must pose is: was the tampering aspect due to the father’s need to see his boy in short shorts or was it just fanciful fantasy? And; why send the boy Sage on hiking trips with his Uncle Terry? Is this all in the mind as it were? Freudian aspects perhaps…Poor Sage I say, no wonder he can relate to the Pringle Poem ‘A Visit with Mother’…

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