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50. Scientologists as occultists

Posted on: August 3rd, 2008 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe 3 Comments

Tom Cruise CartoonSomething else to bring to your attention my friends and enemies alike, was that Sage had said that Davis Cameron (whilst staying with an Asian family) reported and purported that he only pretended to like curry. He said it was the food of the proletariat, the food of the common surf… a food concocted by slack natives and he (an old Estonian) had struggled with the onion bajhi`s. Sage also suggested that Davis Cameron was not a fan of Shilpa Shetty and her politics and had applauded the attempted rape and sexual ravages in public on her by Richard Gear, the famous animal lover. He also compounded the whole thing by inferring that Davis Cameron said that she (Shetty) deserved everything she got for her unwarranted attacks on Jade Goody. For Jade shared many Conservative views when it came to matters regarding immigration and that she should never be silenced and I know Richard Littlejohn agrees. As we all know he would love to send our colored cousins home again… Yes he would love to see Britannia rule the waves again… yes as he says all you have to do is follow the worms – at least all you have to do is buy the Daily Mail then vote for Nick Griffin… dirty Richard Littlejohn… Dicky. Dick Little; that’s what I call him. Oh Dicky Little come here! You know I’m sure he has heard it all before but I loved it… I went ‘Dick Little-Little Dick-Little Dick come here little Johnston- Little Dick John-John Little Dick’. You know, take the joke have fun with it.

I must also add Sage has finally done it, yes he has upset the scientologists the Cruise and the Travolta with his gross attacks on Kirsty’s Alley. Not on I say, I mean in the name of sanity these people are stars and we should all look up to them. For when one gets right down to it Kirsty`s alley is sacrosanct and should only be used on special occasions said an irate Johnny Rotten. But all I can say is that it was Sage who kept referring to the Scientologists as occultists and to them that is as bad and offensive as a cartoon of the prophet Mohammad is to the Muslims. The Cruise is not happy. The Cruise is cross. The Cruise is disgruntled and he wants revenge on me and my kind. But it is Sage who called his stupid retarded religion a cult. Sage’s words not mine! A rudeness unimaginable said John Travolta the repressed pilot queen of the skies himself. But Sage… he thinks they and we should all become Catholics like him and abuse youngsters behind the pulpit… Sage`s words. I’m a fan of religion, just like the next man, but don’t ask me to go to church to prove it. Don’t milk the situation for Gods sake. As I always say ‘I don’t like believers because believers believe and I don’t believe them’… bunch of Krauts I say. I believe in ideas and once again now at this point I have shown my own hypocracy. For if I believe in ideas; it suggests that I believe in something – which suggests to me that the whole thing is not tangible… none of it is tangible… for as soon as you touch it disappears… like Sage`s penis. Sorry, sorry… I went off into a metaphysical tangent. The essence of illusion, oh! the twists and turns of intellectual pursuits, of life and death and everything that goes on in-between… oh! Morrissey. Oh! sweet Morrissey; you have never been in love until you have seen smashed skull and bones behind the reservoir… or is it the canal? I don’t know, but Boy George has been arrested. Was it he who was arrested behind the reservoir with his bicycle chain? What was he arrested for? I’m not sure… Fisting, illegal thrusting in public… tying people up and fisting them. Well, I can’t imagine that of George, he was always very kind to me. He made me a cup of tea and we shared some fairy cake and we discussed my brothers ‘Easy Access Flapper Capacitor Suit’. I think George likes the idea and he wants one. But anyway enough of this…

the Colonel's medalsI must add finally my shock at finding out that Sage has plans to wipe out Essex. He said that they were awful people and deserved to be taken out. Sage also suggested (and I know I have already touched on it but it really upsets me) that I was bang out of order to give out his address on air. He wont let it go. This is nonsense for he asked me to off-screen for he said nights had become very lonely and he would love some company of an evening… and if you remember I said that he was welcome to come and stay with me in Brighton. Sage panicked and refused bluntly. I tried… I really did try to help Sage but he fears me. Or maybe he fears himself. I mean, Sage laughs at incarcerated men such as Terry Weight. He kept on saying such things like- ‘I want to milk your prostate’. Sage is all over me at times, like Yogi bear is all over a picnic… awful man!

Now before I go finally, I would also like to say something the Boars taught me in South Africa: In battle or even in life, three things are essential – speed, surprise and variety. Sadly, Sage possess none of these qualities.

Thank you my friends and haters much love to you all.

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3 Responses

  1. Scientology scares me. Their hard-nosed tactics in going after critics, and how successfully they’ve done it, is chilling.

  2. RONNIE KRAY says:

    Dont fear the bastards, you dont mess about , you just cut em… I once cut L.Ron Hubbard…

  3. Scientologists are psychological nutcases. They really are occult like.

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