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81. Sodom and Gomorrah

Posted on: June 2nd, 2009 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

graham norton cartoonI would like to say a little more about Faye Featherlite, who I feel is really trying to be a good human being and Sage just cant see it. He has a new show on cable TV called ‘Limp Wristed Affairs’. A pioneering piece if ever their was one. He has heavyweight guests like Peter Tatchell, Cliff Richard and his Catholic Priest housemate. They discussed religious affairs and the sin of getting the horn in Sunday mass and the consequences thereafter… Also: Steven Gatley (the Boyzone pretender) has made a limp wristed appearance. Featherlite even managed to get the gregarious Graham Norton onto his show – and what a host he is! Yes, Faye gives credit to Sage saying he learnt so much from him… he learnt how not to be a host of a show from Mackorkadale. I wish Faye well with his new enterprise for I feel it important for the limp wristers to have a voice… for they are an essential part in us bringing down religious totalitarianism and fascist types. We need them on the front line of liberty and freedom to scare off self righteous nutters with holy books. And, it would appear to me that the so called limpwristers could have a winning role in Afghanistan. How is this you may well ask?…

The point being is that if you take the underlying figures with regard the number of limp wrister types in the armed forces… well! Let us apply a little lateral thought to whole thing. As I have said it would appear taking all the numbers into account that almost a third of the armed forces are into pink and they have been pressing for a nice pink uniform for a number of years. What I am trying to say is that the Islamists don’t like pansies. So imagine all the gay soldiers running amok in pink… on the charge as it were… all pink and fluffy-shouting “whoops!” at the top of their voices. I say winning the war on terror would be immanent. No doubt about it.

As I was saying; Faye’s show is grand in scale, a marvellous spectacle like the Royal Tournament. Tachell dressed as the chicken from Family Guy -such a sense of the absurd has Tachell. But, on the negative… Tachell is anti-animal rights. He is against them. He is pro-clubbing baby seals and wearing fur and he loves to eat bacon. So, all in all… gays can be very aggressive and Tachell is a limp wristed white hunter and perfect for front line action.

Now, before I put down my pen I would like to say a little more about Sage and his religious mutterings… His irrational nonsense, his holier than thou illogical essence, his cod piece of contaminated biblical waffle! I’ve had it with Sage. When I tried to tell him of the Greeks and their philosophy and scientific thoughts he scoffed piously… I mean – I for one have no answers how could I? I am a mere mortal man – but as I have said: I prefer the mind set of paganistic Odin fetishers. I like Spartan thought, mysticism, food of the Gods, evolution, the writings of Pringle…

I’ve had enough giving liberal credence to the children of our species… the dunderhead’s who run the show… the Religious clodhoppers the mindless unimaginative prudes who are ashamed of their own flesh, free thought and sexuality… who frighten children into believing in the toe tonsils so that they can have power in this life not the here after. For even they are not sure (with all their pious bigotry) what happens to them when they die… toe tonsils are nasty critters who eat bad children’s toes at night…

Women wearing veils under the tedious explanation that it is what God wants… Rubbish I say! If you believe in God and you believe he created you then you know that he made us naked and shameless and it was us who fucked it up. God (if you believe in such things) wants us naked in a garden thrusting till our hearts content… he does not want us covered cowering in shame…

mammon simon cowellSodom and Gomorrah I say. Mammon is not a sin, it is the first step to evolution. Religion retards us… just look at the problems it causes. No argument can evolve out of a religious mindset. So, like I say, when decadence and greed leaves us empty and hollow, we move on and look for something else. Nothing wrong with meaning and looking for it but let it make sense. I mean… Sage says that I am obscene, that I have coarseness of tongue. But you don’t hear me telling Aristocrats jokes in the canteen… but I accept it… I don’t want to ban his words.Whereas Sage wants to ban everything but his own cock… If that’s what you want BAN LIFE… you idiot!

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