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153. We Didn’t Start The Fire! But You Have To Start The Fire If You Want To make A Change!

Posted on: August 5th, 2012 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

A Olympic Sagelot is going on in my life good people, and I’m sure to say a lot is going on in your life as well. All busy bees collecting pollen and trying to make some honey. Really I’ve seen the ups and the downs but I have to say Sage really did take the broken biscuit when he slipped on a dish cloth after the recording of the show. So Sage took a hit Lindwall had left the cloth discarded on the studio floor after he Sage that is had been sick after seeing the grotesque sight that lingers between the legs of Faye Featherlite! Faye had not meant to show Sage his mangina but one thing had led to another and Sage got an eyeful of Fayes box and vomited! Like I say Sage has no aptitude for heights. Lindwall was summoned he cleaned the vomit without complaint! However, he did leave the dish cloth and Sage hit it full stride and he went as the cockneys would say “arse over tit.” It was on the surface quite amusing to see Sage take a tumble but the reality was not so sweet! A blown knee is not much fun and Sage blew his knee.

Hospital bound! Point is Sage will be out of action for a while so “chit a chat”or should I say “The Colonels Radioshow” will be off the air until Sage can walk again! Like I’ve always said he would have been an awful soldier. Anyhow I’m off to buy some grapes and fizzy pop, and I will shove them in his mouth when I get to his bedside at the U.C.H! You should see the fucker, he looks a real picture leg in the air “National -Health” pajamas, team G.B bow tie and the Olympics on the television. Poor sod!

Anyways I will send him your love. And a sly dig to the ribs!

Meanwhile here is a poem!

The Jealous Rituals Of The Needy!

They come with their introspective smiles, with their eyes a flicker in the shyest of pose, “oh” you say to yourself “their ok, I suppose,”
but something inside says this doesn’t ring true,
but my dear friends I do say this to you,
go with first instinct for thats the best you can do,
because they are the needy,
the ones who really need you…

Remember my darlings we all stand alone,
but all you’ll hear from a needy is “why didn’t you phone?”
So if you’re caught by a needy
you’ll wish you’d stayed home
the needy are jealous and they witlessly moan,
so don’t tell them your secrets,for they’ll use them for gain,
and when you’re not looking they`ll be the cause of your pain…

They will pretend sensitivity, when the cause is their own,
and their mantra is self-pity when they end up alone,
so if you are a needy -go get yourself a life,
stop living on the entrails of others,
get a dog, a cat, a husband or a wife,
anything, just stop fucking moaning…!

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