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4. Otis Van Strapon

Posted on: January 20th, 2008 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe 2 Comments

I must tell of another time when Sage once again mocked and doubted what I had to say and was very dismissiveStrapon with regard to the events that (as far as I’m concerned) led to the eventual freedom of South Africa as a whole. But Sage only believes the official story, for that doesn’t challenge aspects of his sexuality in anyway shape or form. He also accused me of using incorrect racial terms to describe Basil’s skin colour, failing to appreciate that it was my actions that led to a positive political outcome in Southern Africa.

Typical Sage, always plugging for the negative spin on all things. So, I say, allow me a little slack with regard to my terminology… it may be dated but it’s all I know. But I’m always willing to learn…I mean the point is the boy who saved the Village from flooding by plugging the Dam with his finger…when he said “fuck this-it hurts” do you think the Villagers would have chastised the little chap for swearing? No of course not. He was a hero, he saved the lives of many a person…and that is my point…

Now I feel must mention my friend and mentor… the genius that is Otis Van Strapon. An inventor of consequence and an agony Aunt to the Stars in the Hollywood hills. He is know as Beryl Von Yew Straddle and he/she/it is very good with youngsters… which I will explain in further detail as our conversation’s progresses. As I say, you will hear much more about the great man Van Strapon and his works with Gamma-rays to effect the art of miniaturisation.

Sstrapon's legsage isn’t too enamoured with Van Strapon and thinks he’s a deviant because he likes to wear short (excessively short) trousers and feels threatened by his almost feminine legs… but the truth is… well!… I feel he is jealous of Van Strapon’s sense of dress. Whilst Sage has enormous varicose veins and tries to hide them with an old fashioned flesh coloured panchromatic stick. Vanity speaks as it were… and I know that Sage is trying to upset the status quo. For he knows that I was (and am) due to be having my eyes sorted by the genius that is Otis… And as I say, I feel he is trying to shake me up before my operation at the hands of the great and wonderful Otis Van Strapon….

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2 Responses

  1. While Otis van Strapon’s dress sense appears to leave much to be desired at least he doesn’t present unsightly varicose veins. Hoping he managed to fix your eyes successfully.

  2. I have to agree with Sage on this one. Those do look like feminine legs :)

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