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Surviving Armageddon up Ben Nevis

Posted on: January 23rd, 2011 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe 1 Comment

mad max cartoonWho will best survive in a post-apocalyptic world? Sage or Crabtree? And which one will end up starving to death in Wales? Which of the oldies has the best sperm to re-populate the new world? Rubbing sticks, collecting mushrooms and Danny La Rue are all discussed as Sage and the Colonel discuss their prospects after armageddon.

Those Old Etonians Are Back In Town

“Those olde Etonians are back in town
they use hackneyed terms like “grass roots level”
“big society, let all muck in!”
but they are not in tune with mothers peril
when school uniforms are worn thrice over
food is bought by monies bent
and bills are paid with monies lent
by unscrupulous low life city degenerates
who pay for top class accounting men.
“So get on your bike lads and lets all muck in !”

Those olde Etonians are back in town
the Mayfair Set that Bullingdon fraternity
they talk about those “dole-full scroungers”
as they conserve their own bloody bundles
by bending the law just off-shore.
While Sally tells a little white
just to feed and clothe her little tykes.
“So who is the villan here?” one might ask
Is it she who ducks and dives for an extra shilling
or those who claim and pose to be the savers of liberty.

I do not wish to sell you the socialist dream
but we must look after those who are off the pace,
so lets not encourage mediocrities trace
and let us encourage a loving individuality
and forever kill this gross banality.
Its difficult when the privileged few rule
the so called ordinary
with a quintessential traditional view
as they retard our growth with a short term stew.
Its hard i know being raised to look up
to such pedestrian pawns
who think that they are above us all.

I dont wish to appear anarchistic
cos my friends thats not my biscuit,
so no, a radical systematic biscuit crumble
is not the way to rumble,
evolution is the key but that will happen naturally.
So my friends in a world where nothing seems for free
lets rid ourselves of this vile celebrity
and the royal pool who give out prizes
to keep a republic at bay,
i say put them in the stock at the next Assize.


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