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120. The Pathfinders

Posted on: November 1st, 2010 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe No Comments

Life  tiddler terry pathfinder is hard enough ladies and gentlemen what with Ian Duncan-Smith ripping up the olde welfare state and David Cameron’s plans to sell off all social housing to private investors and to move the poor of our society into so called Compassion camps where they must work for food and shelter. This is all bad enough you may say but I ask what takes first prize? Who gets the gold star? Well it’s the fine Tory Boy William Hague’s fisting activities coming to light that tops the table of fun and games for me. Remember I once told you how William (our great hero) enjoyed jumping off his changing room locker onto the unsuspecting backs of fellow MPs and how he enjoyed throwing them around with his Judo… His own form of “Hurt Locker” if you get my drift… Well now it seems things have taken a step to the right and have gotten out of hand, inappropriate, and improper… but allow me to preface this: like I have said in the past “nothing wrong with a bit of buggery” but to pretend you are happily married and then lie about your fetish is damn right pathetic and doesn’t bode well for the so called “New honest politicians.”

Now to move on to another subject that irritates like a mosquito up my japs eye,and that is Sages attitude towards our nations great war heroes… I myself have suffered these indignities in the past and Sage has really gone for the throat this time. To compare the great Pathfinder Tiddler Terry to Swampy The Crusty is without doubt demeaning, condescending, disdainful, sneering, and scornful even in jest. For it was because of   the work and bravery of men like Tiddler Terry that we won the bloody second world war in the first place. And i ask what did Swampy do or say of any great merit anyway? Except not to clean his unmentionables for weeks, even months at a time while hiding up a fecking tree and then to boast about it. Come on… That is nothing to write home about is it? All I can say on this matter is that Swampy wasn’t shagged by a giant blackbird whilst on duty like dear Tiddler Terry was, so why compare the two? As the great Bob Marley once stated “if you know your history then you wouldn’t have to ask me who the hell do I think I am?” And on that forward I say, “know your history Sage,” before you make vile comparisons.

Swampy is a turncoat and instead of protesting about certain injustices around the globe he works for B.P as a trouble shooter, and I’m sure he was involved with the oil spill that occurred in the Gulf Of Mexico a year or so ago. I heard from a reliable source that Swampy was trying to hide from conspiracy theory hero Alex Jones in an oil pipe. Whereby and whereupon he ‘accidentally on purpose’ smashed the cap off the main pipe causing insurmountable and over whelming damage to the coastline of southern USA. Swampy has also been spotted planting palm oil trees in Brazil, and the final insult the so called ‘hero of the people’ Swampy has been seen shaking hands with none other than the Bilderberg propaganda king and voice for environmental issues, fanny merchant and fear monger Al Gore himself, who only knows Swampy as ‘Big Red’. ‘Big Red’ is Swampys Bilderberg alias, like I say; they nearly all turn in the end, mercenaries and money hungry bastards out for themselves and the New World Order.

On the flip side – Tiddler Terry never sold out his Country or his belief system no matter what happened to him, and I know he still has the mental scars of his ordeal up that tree all those years ago where he was violently attacked by a homosexual blackbird with the horn. No matter how Terry has tried he cannot shift this moment from his memory banks. It is said he even tried psychology to shift the painful memory and had six and a half sessions with the great psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud in Regents Park to try to shake the memory of the cruel violation.

I heard from another reliable source that Freud had Terry sniff two grammes of cocaine from a test tube and then had him climb a tree and sit on a branch high up and instructed him to make bird signals with his hands and arms while singing or whistling bird song. I’m not sure what Freud hoped to gain from this type of treatment or exercise but nevertheless good intentions and all, it did not work… In fact it made things worse. There were only six and a half sessions as halfway through the seventh session Terry lost his footing while trying to attract the attention of a robin red breast and fell out of the tree and smashed his spine on several branches on the way down leaving him wheelchair bound and mentally scarred to this day.

I know Tiddler Terry has not married in the subsequent passing of time and truth is I feel I have hit the bulls-eye on this one and unlike Freud I sense I have nailed it. Terry still has love for the Blackbird that violated him all those years ago,  I feel he enjoyed their union  while  up that tree during the Second World War… a time where the smell of death was all too evident and that moment between the blackbird and our Terry was almost beautiful. I believe that deep down he is in love with his attacker. I do say this with a degree of affection for the great Pathfinder but I can’t think of anything worse than a giant bird prodding my bottom end with a pointed penis leaving lacerations beyond that of normal lovemaking, I’m sorry Terry but it’s just not for me but even so I say “each to their own and I judge you not.” However, to have Sage mocking a hero of our time with his snide innuendos and barrack room asides… well it’s patently wrong and insensitive.

Let’s just hope that maybe one day Terry will find another feathered friend in the Anthony Armstrong Joneses Avery in London Zoo. I hope he does find love; I mean – could there be another limp wristed pecker pusher out there? Maybe… and if so Terry can come down from that metaphoric tree of his and join the real world. I say leave him be Sage, stop being a bully.

Another and final point to make on the same theme here or should I ask a question to you Macorkadale?… Was it you Sage?… Seen on Hampstead Heath in the dead of night dressed as Big Bird from the Sesame Street? According to all reports the said creature was seen trying to climb a big oak tree with a dead crow on the end of its penis, it sounds like the sort of thing you would do Sage utterly contemptible, shameful and distasteful.

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