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130. Smoke Screens – Wiki leaks

Posted on: May 8th, 2011 by Colonel Crabtree-Smythe 1 Comment

It would appear to me that Sage has a downer on the Nigerians, in his precordial mind set they are second class citizens, not because Sage thinks that they are a savage breed, far from it, but I still say that his reasoning is flawed, I mean how can you dislike a whole nation for the actions of the few traffic wardens or warlords, and why would you do such a thing indeed. You are I am sure wondering what aspect of the Nigerian national characteristic is Sage so temperamental about? Well my dears I shall tell thee, it is their penchant for the hat and to be more detailed it is their love of the hat, however, it is not ordinary head attire that gives Nigerians the horn, but rather more hats that symbolise authority.

I think it goes way back to Empiric times when a hat meant everything, look back at the time when the Empire builder himself David Livingstone met Henry Stanley, and Stanley’s greeting was “David Livingstone I presume? Nice hat dear boy!” Yes they both had their impressive hats on, enough said. This I feel did have a profound effect on the menfolk of Africa, but more so the menfolk of Nigeria, and this hat fetish as it were, has come a long way from these empiric days and as Sage says it has “made itself manifest on the streets of London by virtue of the Nigerian traffic Wardens,” whom may I say are manifold.

Sage says, and it seems a little far-fetched to me, he says that he “was once accosted by a nude Nigerian in Regents Park”. The Nigerian is supposed to have said that if Sage would come into bushes with him he would let him wear his treasured traffic Wardens hat. Sage has said that he blames the Royals for perpetuating this ridiculous need… you might say – how so?

Sage added that the question can be answered by looking at Prince Phillip or Prince Charles on their various Commonwealth visits; it would seem inherent in their nature to put on any ceremonial head-dress available no matter how silly it looks and that this need for silly authoritative hats crept into the Nigerian psyche.

Now I believe that Sage took up the Regents Park offer, it’s no wonder he can park any place for nothing these days and he doesn’t even have an orange Scope badge. I think that his dislike of Nigerians is just a smoke screen – for I have it on good authority that somebody was seen very near where he lives dancing in the moonlight with a nude black person with a traffic warden hat perched on the end of a rather large man part, if that in itself was not a picture of obscurity I don’t know what is? So I ask was it you Sage with a parking ticket pinned to your arse..? Remember Sage we live in a world where secrets are a thing of the past you will be Wiki leaked soon enough of that I have no doubt, Julian Assange is on your case dear boy. I have sent him film footage of your passed indiscretions and Im sure he will be throughly shocked and Wiki leak you world wide!

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